Annoying is funny.... most of the time
Okay so there is some limits of how to annoy people. Don't go to far, but here are some fun ways.
TEEEHHHHEEEEE
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2.Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
3. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
4.Speak only in a "robot" voice.
5.Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
6.Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
7.Sniffle incessantly.
8.Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
9. Name your dog "Dog."
10.Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
11.Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
12.Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
13.Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
14.Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
15.Practice making fax and modem noises.
16.Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
17.Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
18.Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
20.Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
21.Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.
22.Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
23.Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
24.Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
25Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
26. Drum on every available surface.
27. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
28. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
29. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
30. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
31. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
32. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
33. Set alarms for random times.
34.Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
35. Honk and wave to strangers.
36. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
37. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Wear your pants backwards.
38. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
39.Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
40. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
41. only type in lowercase.
42. dont use any punctuation either
43. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
44. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
45. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
46. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
47. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
48.Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
49. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
50. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
51. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
52. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
53. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
54. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
55. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
56. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
57. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
58. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
59.Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
60.Ask people what gender they are.
61. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
62. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
63. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
64. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
65. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
66. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
67. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
68. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
69. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
70. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
71. Wear a LOT of cologne.
72. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
73. Sing along at the opera.
74. Mow your lawn with scissors.
75. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
76. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
77. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
78. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
79. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
80. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
81. Never make eye contact.
82. Never break eye contact.
83. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
84. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
89. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
In an Elevator
1. Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
2. Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
3. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
4. Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
_
5.Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
6. Attempt to hypnotize the other passengers.
7. Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
8. Bring a chair along.
9.Bring easy math flash cards on the elevator and ask the person next to you to help you study them (get them wrong).
10. Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.
11. Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.
12. Clutch your stomach and gasp.
13. Collapse on the floor when the elevator goes up, then get up and look embarrassed.
14. Collect an elevator tax.
15. Count down from 100,000 out loud.
16. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
17. Do Tai Chi exercises.
18. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this
is your “personal space.”
19. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
20. Give each passenger a round of applause as they enter or leave.
21. Give each passenger a ticket and remind them that door prize drawing is in half an hour.
22. Give people lectures about the periodic table of elements
23. Have a picnic in the elevator.
24. Move your desk in to the elevator, and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
2.Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
3. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
4.Speak only in a "robot" voice.
5.Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
6.Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
7.Sniffle incessantly.
8.Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
9. Name your dog "Dog."
10.Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
11.Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
12.Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
13.Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
14.Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
15.Practice making fax and modem noises.
16.Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
17.Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
18.Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
20.Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
21.Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.
22.Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
23.Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
24.Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
25Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
26. Drum on every available surface.
27. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
28. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
29. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
30. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
31. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
32. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
33. Set alarms for random times.
34.Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
35. Honk and wave to strangers.
36. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
37. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Wear your pants backwards.
38. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
39.Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
40. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
41. only type in lowercase.
42. dont use any punctuation either
43. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
44. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
45. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
46. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
47. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
48.Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
49. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
50. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
51. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
52. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
53. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
54. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
55. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
56. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
57. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
58. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
59.Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
60.Ask people what gender they are.
61. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
62. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
63. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
64. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
65. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
66. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
67. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
68. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
69. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
70. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
71. Wear a LOT of cologne.
72. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
73. Sing along at the opera.
74. Mow your lawn with scissors.
75. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
76. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
77. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
78. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
79. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
80. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
81. Never make eye contact.
82. Never break eye contact.
83. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
84. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
89. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
In an Elevator
1. Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
2. Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
3. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
4. Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
_
5.Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
6. Attempt to hypnotize the other passengers.
7. Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
8. Bring a chair along.
9.Bring easy math flash cards on the elevator and ask the person next to you to help you study them (get them wrong).
10. Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.
11. Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.
12. Clutch your stomach and gasp.
13. Collapse on the floor when the elevator goes up, then get up and look embarrassed.
14. Collect an elevator tax.
15. Count down from 100,000 out loud.
16. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
17. Do Tai Chi exercises.
18. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this
is your “personal space.”
19. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
20. Give each passenger a round of applause as they enter or leave.
21. Give each passenger a ticket and remind them that door prize drawing is in half an hour.
22. Give people lectures about the periodic table of elements
23. Have a picnic in the elevator.
24. Move your desk in to the elevator, and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.